


Leave All Your Heroes Behind

by Magpie_Crow



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Make-A-Wish AU, Villains, it's cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26201500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpie_Crow/pseuds/Magpie_Crow
Summary: Patton is a Make-A-Wish counselor. What is he supposed to do when a child asks to meet notorious villains, The Terror Twins?Do his job, that's what.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 103





	Leave All Your Heroes Behind

**Author's Note:**

> I know other people have done this, but it's a cute idea and I love it. 
> 
> Also it's a cute fic, so. Deal.

Patton stared dejectedly at the small black book in the fire, burning merrily along with all of the other papers he thought might have something to do with his current predicament. 

He shivered, and moved closer, tugging his cardigan tighter around his shoulders. He did not look around him, at the condemned building he was hiding in. He did not think about the angry growling of his stomach. 

Patton only thought about the fire, and the precious book burning at its peak, and how he had gotten himself into the spot in which he currently found himself.

_One Year Prior_

“I want to meet the Terror Twins.”

Patton stared at the little girl in shock, almost forgetting why he was here in the first place.

“Now Emily,” said her mother, “the Terror Twins are villains! It wouldn’t be good to ask the nice man from the charity to put himself in danger!”

The girl pouted, and Patton remembered himself, and how small she was in the hospital bed. 

“Well kiddo, I’ll do my best, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

Emily beamed at him, and he knew he’d made the right choice.

Now to actually find the Twins. Woof.

~~

Patton started slowly, gathering what information he could. Soon, though, he had the right information. Or so he hoped. 

He hoped a lot, looking up at the sign of the bar he was standing in front of. Thomas’ Place. It looked innocuous enough, but rumor had it that the Twins frequented it. 

With a deep breath, and a memory of Emily’s smiling face, he opened the door and walked in. 

Some small, dramatic part of him would have liked all conversation and music to stop when he did so, and for him to have every eye on him as he looked around for his targets. But that wasn’t the case, so he clutched his folder tighter to his side and cast his eyes around for- There! On the _stage_ of all things, in full costume! The two were enthusiastically performing a song with the karaoke machine that seemed… Like it oughtn’t to be performed as enthusiastically as they did.

At the very end, the two shouted out ‘tequila!’ along with the music, and the entire bar rippled with laughter at their flourishing bows. 

As they made their way off the stage, Patton made his way to them, squaring his shoulders as he did so.

“Excuse me!”

The twins turned to him slowly, weirdly in sync. They looked at him, and he almost quailed.

But then he remembered Emily again, and how translucent her skin was. 

“Yes, hello. My name is Patton Foster, and I’m with the Make-A-Wish foundation. I’m sure you’ve heard of it?”

The two cocked their heads, either in confusion or to agree with what he had said.

“I have a client who would like to meet the two of you.”

They looked at each other, then, before looking back to him.

“Good sir, I don’t know what you heard, but-“

“We’re villains, bad guys, poltroons! You don’t-“

“Really want us meeting a small, impressionable child, now do you?”

Patton flipped open his file, and showed them the picture of a happy, healthy Emily. And then another, of an Emily practically tied to the bed with tubes and wires, her dark curls long since fallen from her head. 

“She really wants to meet the two of you.”

The Twins looked at each other again, for a much longer moment this time. 

Patton decided to make things a little less awkward, and held out his card.

“Here, take this. You can call me once you’ve made your decision. No worries, though, kiddos! I understand that it might be difficult for you to make public appearances like that! I won’t judge one bit.”

The Twin in green snatched the card, and the two of them turned swiftly away from Patton and walked off. 

He sighed, and turned to go. 

“Wait! Mister Glasses!”

He turned back. 

“How old is that fair maiden?”

“Emily? She’s twelve. The poor kiddo isn’t supposed to live much longer, though.” He felt tears pressing against the back of his eyes. That was the worst part of this job, knowing the dear, sweet kids were going through such a hard time, and probably wouldn’t make it to adultery. 

The Twins turned away again, and so did he, and he made his way out of the bar. It was a pretty nice place, all things considered. Maybe he’d come back on a day that he didn’t have a job to do.

~~

It wasn’t that he didn’t like getting calls at 3am. It’s just that he didn’t like getting calls at 3am.

“Foster speaking,” he practically growled.

“Mister Glasses! I hope you always sound like that in bed! Which hospital is the kid at?”

Patton thought for a moment. His only client right now was-

“Emily? She’s at Saint Andrews, why?”

“Great! We’ll be there at ten tomorrow. Byeeee!”

With a great put upon sigh, Patton set a calendar reminder on his phone. 

~~

Scratch that, Patton hated getting calls at 3am. He woke at 9:30, bleary eyed and wondering why his calendar app was insistent on waking him up. When he finally found his glasses, the notification read ‘kiddo’s twins’ for 10, and the location was-

The hospital! Fishsticks!

He rushed to get ready, throwing a hat on once he was dressed to avoid having to arrange his curls into some semblance of order. 

It wasn’t until he was panting at the doors of the hospital that he realized his socks didn’t match.

And that he hadn’t warned Emily’s parents ahead of time. How could he?

“Mister Foster?”

Thank whoever or whatever was watching. Emily’s father was walking up to the hospital as well.

“Mister Smith! Great to see you! I just found out that the Twins will be coming today, to see Emily.”

Mr. Smith blanched, and Patton understood his worry. 

“Sorry about the late notice, I only found out myself at three this morning!” He laughed, a little self-consciously. 

And then he saw them, sauntering up the paved driveway without a care in the world, fully kitted out. 

“You’d better head on in, Mister Smith, and let Emily know the good news!”

The other man nodded, and headed inside, still as pale as a ghost.

“Glasses!” The louder Twin was suddenly right in front of him, and Patton gave a startled little yelp. The Twin laughed, and the other cuffed him on the back of the head.

Without much fanfare, he led them to Emily’s room and let them in. The look on her face was radiantly happy, and the Twins seemed a little shy at meeting her.

Really, it was adorable.

~~~

From then on, clients knew to ask him if they wanted to meet a villain. Be it the Twins, or the Serpent, or Logic, or even Shadowstorm! It did take him a few weeks longer to convince Shadowstorm, but in the end, it paid off. 

And that’s how he ended up here. Burning the book with their numbers in it, and all of the pages of information he’d gathered from them. Even silly things, like how Serpent actually had pet snakes, or how Logic loved a specific brand of jam. Even Sleep’s favorite coffee place, or The Therapist’s favorite cartoon (all of them.)

He would rather die than hand over that information to the Heroes Guild. And he probably would, he thought gloomily, as his stomach protested at him again. Either by starvation or by the so called heroes. 

They hardly ever came to meetings with clients. They were too busy, saving the world or whatever. 

The villains always came, even if it took some cajoling. 

There was a crash, and Patton came back to the present, willing his fire to burn hotter and consume the book before the heroes found him. 

“Glasses?”

That. That wasn’t a hero.

“Foster?”

That wasn’t a hero either.

“Hey, Pat? You here?”

Patton stood, and tentatively peeked out of the back room he was hiding in. 

They were all there, crowding in the doorway. Shadowstorm was at their head, a flashlight in his hand. 

Patton ran to him, shoving his face into the comfortable hoodie the villain always wore.

“Woah! It’s gonna be okay, Pat. Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”

“Yes, all will be well, Foster. You are most welcome to come back with us. The so-called heroes will not be bothering you anymore.”

Patton nodded against his friend’s hoodie. He knew these men. They would take him home, wherever that may end up being.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed! 
> 
> I set up a Discord server! <https://discord.gg/gtWgvQ4>  
> Join me to talk about my writing and stuff!
> 
> Find more on tumblr @we-are-fam-ily


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